Every time I go to the San Francisco Ferry Building Marketplace, I stop by the Far West Fungi to ogle the shrooms. I mostly like to gasp at the price of the highly coveted truffle, stick my nose in the dried shitakes and contemplate purchasing one of their mini oyster mushroom farms. I am forever fascinated by the white, foamy brick of nothingness that turns into lovely mushrooms ready for sauteing. Growing shrooms should be on my bucket list. Thankfully, Peter thought so too and is not as cheap as me. He came home with a gift that trumped any piece of jewelry, my very own mini oyster mushroom farm. This was almost as good as my Sea-Monkeys Zoo.

You can buy the oyster mushroom farms for just 20 bucks and it comes looking like this, minus the sprouts.

The instructions are fairly simple, even for someone like me who lacks any sort of green on her thumbs; wrap it in a plastic bag, cut a few holes in the bag and spray with water daily or, in my case, when you remember. Within a week you will start to see the tiniest of mushrooms sprout. I was tempted to pluck them off and pop them in my mouth to savor what I had 'painstakingly' grown. But, I needed to refrain for a couple more weeks if I planned on cooking something delectable with my bounty.

After a few short weeks of tending to the garden, I was ready to harvest. I dreamed of creating a delicious oyster mushroom risotto with fresh asparagus and white truffle oil.

Unfortunately, I thought it would first be a good idea to take it out of the plastic and display it at our restaurant. The customers loved it. The mushrooms did not. They died. Just like my Sea Monkeys.